Last Call Poker, an instant megahit Alternate Reality Game, burst onto the scene weeks ago and has become a popular hangout for those craaaaazy poker playing kids. In the midst of all the mirth and joyous choral singing, however, a miraculous event has been overlooked. It seems that one of our very own staff writers -- me, in fact -- has become Prophet to the ARG World. I know, I know... you've known this for years, but never had the definitive proof to back up your claims. Well, now you do!

In an article dated July 6, 2005, a full two-and-a-half months before the official launch of Last Call Poker, I wrote Poker-Themed ARG To Hit Casinos. While the article wasn't 100% prophetic, that doesn't disqualify what I believe to be a special gift handed down to me from a universe far, far away, where robots dance and janitors write blogs. Heck, even Nostradamus, one of the most famous prophets of all time, wasn't completely accurate in his mad early-Modern-French ramblings. Besides, I was trying to protect the Puppetmasters, whom I knew were behind the game from the very start, through the power of my prophecy. The proof? I wrote the number "24" in the article -- see for yourself!

Now that we are all believing that I am the first ever official ARG Seer, allow me to make some more bold predictions that, on the surface and in the present, may appear to be the crazy statements of someone doped up on cold and flu medication. However, given time, I believe that at least 4 -- nay, 6 of these predictions will eventually come true. Mostly because they are cryptic and vague in nature.

1. The man in the balloon will bleed the mercury,
   Offering hope for those who decrypt
   While the master of strings persuades us to stay
   And fend off the wolves in the submarine.


2. The brunette with hotness requires our help
   And with it will come our robot demise
   Poor bloke, you live outside of the Continental U.S.!
   Once again, foiled by geographical unfairness.


3. The orange tabby cat striped (read stripe-ed) with black
   Will once again taunt the dog with long tongue
   And we shall observe through the power of web cameras
   His owner's email box, complete with tales of woe.


4. Here is my game, I am its creator
   Fourteen years of age doth my experience have
   Oh noes! School is tuf, and my parents are mean
   End of my game -- did you like it, new friends?


5. The fire burneth brown with the stink of disaster
   The flames tickle the underbelly of a generation
   The Heart, o' The Heart! It flames, o' it flames!
   The vulvas come out of hiding to play.


6. You believe it to be a means of communication
   But alas, it is really a quick demonstration
   Of how alternate reality can mislead a nation
   Of gamers who rely on enhottenation.