Baby Bob

Hello, my name is Mills and I am writing what will (hopefully) become The Rant about an Issue Ranted about in Each Issue (yeah yeah, the name needs some work.) For my initial rant, I will be talking about the state of a certain CBS show I am sure you all have heard of, Baby Bob. Now this show is an affront to society for several reasons.

First of all, not even the creators of the show believe it is capable of any success. The show was created around the premise of an infant who can talk as well as an adult person.  His parents don't want the world to know this, however. Herein lies the proof that the creators have no confidence in the show.  How long can this kid stay an infant anyways?  In two or three years the kid will begin talking anyways, thereby removing any premise involving a special kid who talks.  I know that in shows like Saved by the Bell the kids were doomed to attend high school for all eternity, but this can’t work with infants.  They grow and mature too fast.  The only real solution is to eternally replace the baby known as Baby Bob every season, which is weird in itself.  What will happen to the parents when they realize that they have a son that not only talks, but NEVER AGES?!?!?!

Second of all, as I’m sure you all have heard, this show was based on an advertising campaign (which campaign it was escapes me now).  I mean seriously.  A show based on an ad campaign???  Eventually we’ll have a show about a talking Chihuahua and his frog roommate and their adventures searching for beer and tacos.

Another thing.  The show sucks.  If you forget the stupid premise for a minute and listen to the jokes, you’ll realize they aren’t funny.  Most of the jokes revolve around Bob, with his huge vocabulary, not understanding words that create hilarious scenarios, such as Bob asking “Daddy, what’s sex?” or “Mommy, what is a hooker?”  It’s these humorous scenarios that remind us that even freak of nature children don’t understand everything.

Finally, this show has inexplicably high ratings and will most likely be renewed for another season.  Shame on those of you who watch this show.  Shame on those of you who enjoy this show.  Shame on those of you who wish their baby had special speaking powers like Bob.  There are several other things you could be doing with your time instead of watching that.  Go play a game on your computer.  Go solve a mystery.  Chat with buddies on mIRC.  Drink rat poison.  Until next time...

Your Comrade
"Grumpy" Mills Barletti, Contributing Writer